Last week, I wrote a post that I just can’t bring myself to publish.
It’s about clichés people tell us when we’re single. It’s sarcastic and a bit snarky and takes a look at the ridiculousness of what people say to us sometimes.
But I just can’t pull the trigger on it.
Mainly because Libby and I have been spending a lot of time reading and discussing Proverbs recently. We keep coming across verses like:
“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” {10:19}
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” {12:18}
“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life…” {15:4}
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” {16:24}
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” {18:21}
We’ve been wrestling with what this looks like in our own lives—using our words to bring life and healing.
Because when you love joking around with people, appreciate a sarcastic answer at just the right moment, or enjoy #realtalk, Proverbs can be a bit perplexing.
Surely it doesn’t mean we speak in rainbows and butterflies to each other, does it?
Because like everyone else, I have opinions about everything under the sun—politics, music, theology, relationships, travel and, of course, singleness.
And there’s always a topic of the day on the Internet, isn’t there?
Yesterday it was the NFL referees.
The day before it was the Emmys.
It’s always Walmart, and tomorrow it will be something else.
Is this the kind of stuff Solomon was talking about? When we vent or argue via social media or blogging? Because I can see the destruction that causes.
But what about sarcasm? Where does it fall?
I mean, are words that bring life and healing or words that bring death my only options? Because I don’t know where to categorize my sarcasm.
I live in a constant tension of my opinions, my sarcastic wit, and my spirit not wanting to reflect negatively on Christ.
Words stress me out. Ironic, isn’t it? Since they’re my business and all.
But they do. Whether written or spoken, I contemplate my words all the time, not just after a study on Proverbs. (It’s just that a study on Proverbs might stress me out even more.)
Words matter.
Follow any writer on Twitter and they’ll tell you that words are important. And I believe that, too, or else I wouldn’t do what I do. What we say and write can bring healing and evoke change.
But I also cringe when I’m reminded that words matter.
Because it can also be used as a weapon when we want to hold people accountable for words that should have been held back.
As the child who was often told to watch her smart mouth or to not say everything that comes into her head, I know that I’m only one poor choice away from missing the mark.
I’ve made countless apologies for words that were anything other than life giving, and I am grateful for the grace that covers them.
When it comes to SingleRoots, we have a system of checks and balances. We run our posts by each other (and sometimes other people) before publishing, and we try to make sure that we’re as authentic as possible and our intended message is clear.
Sometimes we come up short or go too far, but it’s not for lack of trying.
Humor plays a big role in our discussions on this site. I love that our writers speak life and healing into other singles’ lives through the words on a computer screen. But I also love that they are good at making us laugh, as well as using humor to evoke change. I think it is extremely valuable.
Ultimately, I don’t have it all figured out, so I continue to wrestle.
I wrestle with allowing myself to be who I am and not stifling the parts of my personality that are uniquely me. I wrestle with the appropriate use of opinion, humor, and especially the appropriate use of sarcasm. But mostly, I’m wrestling with erring on the side of restraint if there’s a question of life or death in my words.
And by “wrestling,” I mean, I’m choosing restraint.
Because, let’s be honest, the snark is still there lurking under the surface. (Insert obligatory winking emoticon here.)
“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” {Proverbs 17:27-28}
What are your thoughts on sarcasm and words that bring life/healing or death? Can sarcasm be used in a healthy manner?
*Photo credit: Alex Barth
