Today we’re featuring one of the questions we tackle in our free revised eBook, When Will I Get Married? (and 8 Other Questions that Plague Singles). Sign up in the box on the right to become a SingleRoots email subscriber and download your free copy today!
Do you remember ever reading about a singles group in the Bible?
Did Jesus only hang with the single disciples? Um, no. Were Paul and his entourage exclusively single? No, married people were included. Did some of the prophets get frustrated because they couldn’t find a church with an active, age-graded singles ministry? No, they had bigger fish to fry such as golden calves, Israel’s disobedience, and the brutality of the Babylonians, just to name a few.
The fact of the matter is singles ministries, while tools for spiritual growth, ministry, and connecting us to a larger community, are not Biblical mandates. They are great avenues for broadening your social circles, but they also have a way of separating us from that same larger church community.
Let’s face it: sometimes singles groups are kinda lame, especially if you are older than your twenties. It seems like you have to go to a megachurch in order to find a singles group that doesn’t include senior citizens alongside the graduate students. Not to mention those small churches that seem to pretend that singles don’t even exist.
Singles groups also have reputations for being meat markets, while singles have reputations for staying a bit disconnected from the church. We tend to move from church to church, wherever the cool kids are currently.
There can be a lot to dislike when it comes to singles ministries at churches. But, then church is not about us and our preferences. A dangerous symptom of living life solo is that we’re not forced to discuss anything with anyone before we make decisions like deciding to head on over to the better-looking, larger church group.
So here’s the deal: You don’t have to be part of a singles group. But you do need to be actively connected to a local Body of believers. (Hey, it’s Biblical. Read the New Testament. Any of it. All of it.) However you choose to connect is between you and the Holy Spirit.
So you don’t like the singles ministry?
So what?
There are other ways to connect to the Body. Every church is different, but here are just a few:
- Join a men’s or women’s small group Bible studies
- Get involved in Celebrate Recovery or DivorceCare, if you’ve struggled in these areas
- Disregard labels and go to a Bible study with your married friends
- Start your own small group (singles or mixed)
- Seek out someone to mentor you and seek out someone that you can mentor
Bottom line: Singles ministries aren’t for everyone; church is. Stop making excuses and connect.
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