Picture it:
Dozens of us are masterfully working the dance floor. I soak up the energy of all the wedding guests around me, ecstatic that we have no problem celebrating the bride and groom’s eternal commitment to each other by collectively agreeing that yes, it is fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. We bring sexy back with reckless abandon. Shouts are issued both a little bit softer and a little bit louder now. Unless the DJ’s next selection is “Macarena,” this event is quickly going down in history as the best wedding reception ever!
Then I hear the familiar hand-clapping opening cadence of the next song. A strange and primal survival skill kicks into overdrive and I realize I need to be as far away from this place as possible. I exit to the left, convinced that something or someone in this general direction will be enthralling enough for me to pretend that he, she, or it is of critical importance.
“OMG! I love this song! COME ON, LINCEE!”
With any other classic dance anthem, I would have commented on her effervescent spirit and high-fashion shoe selection as we sashayed out onto the floor, but how could I when this endearing girl with zero gifts for recognizing blatant mortification on someone’s face is dragging me to the middle of the one place in the immediate vicinity that I simply do not want to be? A gaggle of 20-somethings sings each and every word with gusto. Many encourage me to join them by executing the now famous dance moves that traditionally accompany this masterpiece. I oblige, pump my arms, wave my left hand in the air to the beat and pretend to be empowered by Beyonce’s salute to all the single ladies.
Worst…reception…ever.
That experience coupled with the age-old tradition of the bride hurling her bouquet into a sea of friends who are no longer in her season of life and you’ve just stumbled upon the recipe for my worst nightmare.
My name is Lincee and I have unnecessary anxiety when I am singled out for my singleness. The question is: why?
I immediately put on my “Christian” thinking cap and proudly answer that I am okay with being single. I would just rather not remind everyone that I’m unmarried through the method of booty-dancing melodies, hurling nosegays, or checking the “Ms.” box at the doctor’s office for that matter.
Then I read the sentence again…the one that says I’m okay with being single…and realize that it’s not entirely true. I’m supposed to be okay with my singleness. Because clearly, God has me single for a reason. I don’t have a husband right now because I’m not supposed to have a husband. I’m supposed to be content with the life God has given me. Sending His Son to die on a cross for my sins is more than enough reason to embrace and celebrate each day I breathe in and out on this earth with reverence, instead of wasting it by waiting for the moment when I will get to check the “Mrs.” box.
I confess that I struggle with being content in my singleness.
I struggle daily.
The good news is that those “single” moments allow me to draw closer to God in complete and total reliance on His sufficiency. I’m reminded to live a life on bended knee and commit to making God’s will my will. I pray that He develops characteristics in me that go beyond my singleness.
She loves the Lord.
She has a servant’s heart.
She can dance.
She is kind.
She is passionate.
She has a faithful spirit.
She can make a mean banana pudding.
She is a fierce friend.
Her words are powerful.
God knows me. He knows my struggles. He knows my desires. He labels me “His Child” and will do great things through me if I let Him. Acknowledging that His timing is perfect, I claim Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still.”
That simple verse gives me hope. Hope that one day, a Godly man will like it enough to put a ring on it.
Lincee Ray works in the oil and gas business in Houston, Texas. She has been recapping The Bachelor franchise for seven years on her personal blog, I HateGreenBeans. As a child, she taught herself to say the ABCs backwards. It kills at parties. She doesn’t eat meat off the bone, and she’s both an approval and Dr Pepper addict. She’s a little too enthusiastic about her DVR, iPod, Ryan Gosling and teeny bopper shows on the CW. Her life verses include Psalm 18:1 and Exodus 14:14. You can also follow her on Twitter at @Lincee.
*Photo credit: comedy_nose
