Let’s face it: finding a church home is not easy. There are so many variables to consider. And while no one likes the phrase “church shopping,” sometimes it feels like we’re doing just that.
There are some who might see a light shine down from Heaven, hear the “Hallelujah” chorus, and receive a definite Word from the Lord saying, “Go to this church, my child.”
Others of us have to fight through our flesh and our preferences and our frustrations to be able to discern where we need to settle in and start putting down roots.
As singles, we often have to make the choice between a singles ministry or not. If we choose to forgo the singles ministry, then we have to make small group or Sunday school choices, such as men’s or women’s small groups or mixed groups with marrieds and singles.
Some of us love our local church but feel there isn’t a specific “place” for us, so we serve in the children’s or youth ministries and then we find community among other Christian friends who don’t necessarily attend our specific church.
Over the next few weeks, we’re going to highlight the different ways singles are finding community. Each week, several Christian singles will share why they love the choices they’ve made. This week, we’re focusing on individuals who are a part of a singles ministry in their churches.
Our hope is that if you are currently searching for community, you’ll be encouraged that despite the imperfections of the Body, it’s worth the struggle it takes to get there. (Romans 12, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
It is almost an understatement to say that I love my singles ministry, to the point where I would probably grieve the loss of that community should I one day move on or “graduate” (aka get married). The singles ministry has been my home within my church home for several years now, and I’ve grown from being just a casual Sunday morning attender to becoming a person who gets in and takes ownership of this little faction of my rather large church home.
Notably, it was when I made the jump from casual attender to active participant that I began to grow and love this ministry.
Not only is this the place where I’ve cultivated most of my current deep friendships, but it’s also the place where I turn to feel refreshed and renewed on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis. This ministry has taught me what it means to serve, lead, and impact my community. This is the place and these are the people I know I can turn to in times of joy or sorrow. {Linda Spratt}
I am so blessed to have a singles group because I can be flawed and candid with them about my life, good or bad. I enjoy living alone but sometimes the grind of my job and coming home to an empty apartment all week can leave me feeling trapped in all my space and free time. Having a night each week to look forward to connecting with people who genuinely care about my well-being and want to do life with me is such a refreshing reprieve from the daily stress of being a single adult.
These are people that love God and want to grow in Him.
Seeing their pursuit of Him and the way they desire to love others unconditionally inspires me to not allow my relationship to become stagnant. {W. Brandon Howard}
We’re still the redheaded stepchildren of the church, but the singles ministry I’m involved in has a way of giving people a place to fit. It lacks flash and it’s not a meat market, so seekers looking for those things tend to move on.
However, the winners and losers, teachers and students, lovely and unlovely often plant roots if they are looking to serve each other and Jesus at the same time.
Many think of it as a surrogate family and have joined the church because of the singles ministry. All are welcome and many have become very close friends, but it’s not a support group. Everyone is at a different stage in relationships and life, but we give each other a place to be a disciple. As with many singles ministries, I’m sure, it’s a revolving door with an ever-changing group of participants.
But when one of the main goals is to show the love of Christ to anybody who shows up, it’s not surprising that people look forward to the times we meet.
Either that, or the MMA tournaments bring people together just like Fight Club. But we think it’s okay to talk about it. {Jake Harvey}
I love that we are all different personalities, so we approach topics from various angles.
I love that we are around the same age range, so the life experiences we are having are similar.
I love that it’s a place to belong.
I love that it’s a place to let my hair down (until last week my hair was almost long enough to actually “let down”).
And I love that it’s a place to explore Scripture and our lives and see how/where the two intersect.
Are you involved in a singles ministry at your church? Share what you love about it in the comments below!
*Photo credit: silent shot
