My first sample of pornographic material appeared while I was browsing late night TV the summer after my 8th grade year. What was happening in front of me was shocking, yet I kept changing the channel and then coming back to it, unable to fight the allure of discovering the true form of a woman for the first time.
I discovered when I was 17 years old there were limitless temptations to be found online and seemingly no repercussions to follow. Even after dealing with my parents discovering pornography on the computer, the temptation was too strong and I learned one thing: Don’t get caught. Like so many other addictions in my life, I struggled in secret for years.
I spent a week working at a Christian camp and roughly 90% of the middle and high school boys I counseled looked at me at some point and confessed their heart was heaviest because of their inability to say “no” to one temptation.
Likewise, in serving with many men at church, I’ve been a confidant and prayer partner through countless situations but nothing more prevalent or commonly accompanied with heavy-hearted embarrassment as one thing: porn.
It doesn’t seem to matter how we’ve been raised or who we profess as Savior. An addiction to pornography is a massively prevalent disease of lust nearly all men are now crossing paths with at some point in life, and the immediate temptation in the church is to hide it away in shame as something nobody else could understand.
Additionally, many clergy choose to steer clear from an associated matter, often still too taboo to discuss from pulpits. For whenever we’re discussing pornography, we’re also addressing masturbation. The combined effect of these issues creates an addictive blend of physical, mental, and spiritual dependency.
It is absolutely crucial the church collectively support a public, grace-based dialogue in conjunction with the availability of confidential, Christ-centered, informational support on pornography, masturbation, and all associations of lust.
[Note: Porn is similarly prevalent among women, but for the purposes of this post, the audience is men. If you are a woman struggling to break free from porn, check out our post “Women and Pornography.”]
Men, it’s easy to spend a few minutes satisfying our desires and walk away from our laptops feeling not only did we get away with it, but we’re not hurting anyone.
We must stop lying to ourselves.
Do you honestly believe repeatedly satisfying the deeply primal need of sexual connection through an outlet completely contrary to God’s design doesn’t thoroughly wreck your mind and re-program your desires?
The entire female gender have had to pay severe consequences. Your girlfriend or wife will, too.
Ladies, I ask for forgiveness and every bit of grace you can muster. Pornography’s temptation and powerful draw appeals to us at a level we feel completely unable to avoid at times. The minute we begin to say “yes,” its magnet grows into something indescribable and truly spiritual.
It is crucial to the matter women begin to commonly address pornography and lust with their boyfriends and husbands. Do so in a loving and understanding way, no matter the response. This is perhaps the largest battle a man may face in his lifetime, whether you understand it or not.
Obviously, I can’t speak to this issue for females, but it would be shortsighted to believe it is only a problem among men. Porn’s visual stimulation is precisely configured to fascinate a man’s mind, but has staked a claim to a growing number of women’s private lives. There is perhaps no clearer proof of just how pervasive this obsession is than by examining the growing number of women who are now reported as viewing porn regularly.
In my life, victory over the battle with lust has come about only recently. I can never let my guard down and believe I won’t be tempted. Achieving a sustained victory has been the product of attaining daily triumph.
In other words, we win the battle when we realize we don’t ever get to stop fighting it.
It’s my intent to encourage a continuous healthy dialogue and vulnerability surrounding pornography amongst believers. Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and spiritual forces of evil. We must tackle every weapon of the enemy, no matter how uncomfortable it is momentarily.
The battle will not be won if we approach it as individuals. However, as one loving body in the name of Christ we can overcome.
For more help:
Let’s face it—Anything you can’t walk away from is an addiction, an idol. If you are struggling to break free from pornography, XXXChurch.com, The Porn Effect, and X3watch.com are great resources to help you in the fight. Bottom line: You can be free.
