I think a lot of times we refuse to look past the negative of ourselves. We don’t take long enough to see that our “weaknesses” usually have blessings as well.
I’m highly introverted; I practically broke the scale on the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. For the longest time I thought it was a glaring weakness. Now from an older, wiser place I’ve changed my thinking.
Looking back on my life, mostly my teenage years into college, I literally thank God for my introversion.
Just how can a passive personality trait do so much? I find peace and rest in solace, in being outside of the spotlight or the group. God was also wonderful enough to bless me with being very analytical and, at a young age, I valued the benefits of learning through observation and analysis. I am slow to develop relationships because I take a long time to observe and get to know people.
By the time I build a close friendship with someone, I am highly invested in them as a person, flaws and all.
This also means that when I’m looking at a girl with a romantic eye, I don’t just ask someone out on a date. The idea of dating for dating’s sake is the opposite of what I want. (I feel that dating without marriage being the end game is flawed, anyway.) I need to be able to realistically see marriage as a possibility with a girl before I take that step into dating.
However, I’ve never experienced a romantic relationship—thanks in part to not knowing how to manage my introversion for much of my life, which made me even more withdrawn. It’s easy for me to become discouraged or depressed about it, but there is a bright side: It’s actually nice not being able to take part in a conversation about ex-relationships.
When I look at all of the bad relationships I’ve not been in because of my introversion, I grow fond of it.
I’ve been looking for a relationship since I was a teenager, but I wasn’t of the make to ask out any girl I liked, as is the standard mode of operation with teenagers. For me, a relationship has to grow out of friendship. There’s no other way that I will be active and open enough to not drive the relationship into the ground.
Yet, with my lack of relationships, one of my biggest hopes is to be a husband and a dad.
I’ve come to find the results of this amalgamation interesting. While I had friends burning through the relationship of the month, with mostly messy breakups, I was learning that I wanted something deeper and longer lasting…and that I was nowhere near ready for it.
God used my introversion to save me from messy relationships that I would have messed up.
I simply wasn’t capable of taking on the leadership and responsibility required of a man in a relationship. Only in the past couple of months have I thought myself emotionally and spiritually prepared enough to consider a relationship. I thank God that he designed me in a way to value deep relationships before dating, and in the case that I became desperate enough to ignore all of that, hard wired me to shy away from the bad relationships.
Forget that at this point in my life I still have no idea what it’s like to be on a date. (I firmly believe that if the right person ever comes along she’ll find it endearing). I’ve come to believe that I’m not flawed but wonderfully created. And, if I do meet her, I will be able to take up a walk with her without an armful of baggage and a trail of exes.
Sure, no one makes it to this point in life without scars due to heartbreak, but mine were critical moments of growth that left without complication and were preparing me, just in case that special someone comes along.
Have you ever had a moment when you realized that God was blessing you through a “weakness”? What was it?
Photo credit: stramma
