[Disclaimer: This post is meant to be a humorous feature that attempts to poke fun at some of the stereotypes and issues that arise in the dating world. If sarcasm isn’t your thing, you might want to stop reading now…]
Hello, Ladies. I’m Jake. The following words will be from my perspective and my perspective alone. I have not consulted with the man committee and, in the event that they approve my comments, the occasion under which said circumstances arose is purely coincidental.
The English language is comprised of twenty-six letters. These letters, when properly arranged, form words, and words convey meaning. These words, while informative and helpful, serve very little use when they are not employed. Substitution of words for things such as laughter at unfunny jokes, increased eye contact, and body language does not necessarily communicate with the effectiveness and clarity as the aforementioned words.
If a particular male does not appear to understand your subtle communication of gestures and implication, do not take a position of frustration or irritation. Said male is simply not bilingual. Chances are he is only fluent in the language of words. Please proceed accordingly.
If your intent is to gauge interest, convey interest, or secure a date, said action is best attempted and executed using words. If said action is unsuccessful due to lack of employment of words, targeted male cannot be held responsible. While said male may not be very perceptive, he cannot be faulted for lack of training in covert communication tactics.
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About Jake Harvey: For the past four years, Jake has held a secret security job protecting citizens of Fort Worth. Really, it’s just him riding around in his pickup truck with a shotgun. While driving around, his music choices go from Waylon Jennings to Clutch to TV on the Radio. When he stops at red lights, he is often reminded of his severe dislike of the Chicago Cubs and whining. When Jake’s patrol stops at the local 7-11 to scout out any troublemakers or hooligans, he always has to get a pack of gum and a strong cup of coffee. Jake also spends time studying economic theory, buying books and guns, and resisting the urge to breakdance when he sees cardboard on the ground. You can follow him @jakeharvey6.
*Photo credit: Kevin Dooley
