[Disclaimer: The Dear Adam/Eve posts are meant to be a humorous feature that attempts to poke fun at some of the stereotypes and issues that arise in the dating world. If sarcasm isn’t your thing, you might want to stop reading now…]
Dear Eve,
The more time I spend with you the more I think you like to make things complicated simply for the sake of being complicated. Take for instance, Sally in When Harry Met Sally…
What does Harry want? Harry wants a #3. He, like most men, understands that ordering food and beverages shouldn’t make the waitstaff feel like they’re sitting in Chemistry 302 with a pop quiz coming up at the end of class.
Take for instance a recent experience I had with a dear friend of mine. She and I were at Starbucks, which I think was tailored for women because they can’t just call their sizes Small, Medium, and Large. They have to girl-it-up by making it complicated. Who in the world would ever name a small drink, Tall?
I digress.
Being the gentleman that I am, I stepped aside to allow her to order first.
My jaw dropped when she rattled off: “I’ll take a Grande Decaf Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte No Foam with a Straw.”
Essentially, this chick required 11 words to order a medium foo-foo coffee. Whatever happened to, “Decaf…cream and sugar, please”? As for the hole on the lid that is used for sipping out of? That’s not good enough for you ladies anymore. Nope. A giant green straw has to be jammed in there in order to satisfy the temperature needs of your pallet. Or so you won’t spill your drink. Either way…complicated.
Women have taken the adjectives “particular” and “picky” to whole a new level, and it never ceases to amaze me. Everything you order has to come with something “on the side.” Every entree is “No this,” “Extra that,” and “Does it have tomatoes? Because I don’t like tomatoes.”
Ultimately, I blame this problem on the male gender. We’ve allowed it to happen.
Long ago, before Starbucks or diners, I have no doubt that you women banded together at a round table and invited a jeweler, a teddy bear, and the guy from Hallmark. Horrible, evil horrors were invented such as Valentine’s Day and the one-, two-, and three-month anniversaries. You cunningly devised strategies to confuse and torment men until the end of time. And if everything else wasn’t bad enough, you created “on the side.”
“On the side” evolved into “No this” and “Extra that” and eventually, every woman decided they didn’t like tomatoes. WHAT’S SO WRONG WITH TOMATOES? Before men could realize it, women were ordering lattes at Starbucks that required 11 words. And then, one day we looked up and Pinterest began cluttering our Facebook walls. (I don’t know how Pinterest ties in here, but it needed to be said.)
Since the beginning of time it has been happening, getting worse and worse each year, and yet we as men just let it go. Why?
Simply because you’re good looking, and we like the way you smell.
That’s right.
We’re simple.
We like it that way.
For more helpful, legit dating discussion, see SingleRoots’ reviews:
- Best Christian Dating Sites :: Choosing the Right One for You
- eharmony Review :: Christian Singles Tell It Like It Is
*Photo credit: Jerine
