It’s been several years since I’ve found myself a target for the enemy’s lies about what my friends think of me. Don’t get me wrong, I have fantastic friends, but this kind of stuff just happens when you live life with imperfect people. Recently, I was hurt by a friend. How it happened is not as important as how I handled it, though—and this is where I’m beginning to see the smallest evidence of growth.
When someone intentionally (or unintentionally) hurts me, I inevitably go through some kind of process to try and work out my feelings and comfort myself.
{In the past, my first reaction to a painful situation would have been to turn to a pint of Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream to numb the pain. But with the healing that only a God who is in the business of working miracles can perform, I no longer look to food to bring me comfort. Thank you, Jesus. But that’s another post for another time.}
Phase 1: Tears
For some, this might do the trick. For me, however, this may make me feel like I’m accomplishing something during the time it takes a piece of tissue to disintegrate, but the relief is only temporary. As soon as my tear ducts are dry, I find myself still hurting and slightly resembling a puffer fish.
Phase 2: Distraction
I can turn on an episode of New Girl and all of my pain will drift away as I chortle through thirty minutes of Schmidt’s OCD-like/narcissistic behavior. But once the show is over, I again feel the uneasiness in my stomach from the lack of resolve in the situation. Which inevitably brings…
Phase 3: Sleep (or lack thereof)
By this stage, it’s usually somewhere between 2-4 a.m. and I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am confident that if I can just calm my thoughts long enough to drift into blissful slumber, I will be free of playing the situation over and over in my head. Sometimes, this works. Other times, I toss and turn because I can’t locate the “off” switch for my brain. When it’s apparent that my thoughts will not allow me to sleep without dealing with what’s consuming me, I turn to my last resort…
Phase 4: Prayer
I know, I know…you’re thinking, “Shouldn’t this be #1?” And the answer is yes, it should but I am a work in progress. Right now, part of the learning process for me is trial and error. Learning how to completely depend on Him includes exhausting all other means before I eventually come to Him and ask for His help. It seems as though I have to go through all of my other options before I can see for myself that there is no other way to heal my wounded heart than by bringing it to Him. And, in time and with increasing faith, I hope to eventually come to Him first, but in the meantime, He is patient with me while I work it out.
When I go to Him, I surrender my pain to the only One I can depend on to never cause me harm. The ache of this situation is another opportunity for growth. It is a reason to come to my Savior and sit at His feet. That’s what He wants most. He longs for us to look at every difficult situation we are confronted with as an opportunity to draw closer to Him.
When you find yourself hurt by someone, why not thank them? After all, they’re doing you a favor by giving you a reason to cling even more tightly to the Holy Spirit, the ultimate Comforter, who is waiting patiently for you to exhaust every other resource before you can freely enter into His embrace.
If you know someone who is in pain and struggling to overcome it, will you email them this post to encourage them?
