Every author of a Christian dating book has a different approach:
Kiss dating goodbye. No, kiss dating hello.
Write your own love story. Scratch that. Let God write your love story.
Become the guy/girl he/she wants. Nah, you’re fine just the way you are. You just haven’t met the right person yet.
Put yourself out there. Wait…don’t put yourself out there. Sit on your doorstep until your spouse arrives via UPS. (But they don’t tell you how to handle it if your spouse is the UPS driver, so there’s that…)
Wading through an ever-growing list of Christian dating books can be tiresome. It seems everyone has something to say about this ever-growing topic, which isn’t even clearly delineated in the Bible.
So when people ask us about dating book recommendations, we share 2 main categories. Sure there are probably a host of other approaches to dating, but these are the ones we’re most concerned about and by authors we respect.
1. Theology
Marriage is infinitely more than finding a soul mate and having some children together. While these books aren’t specifically labeled as “Christian dating books,” we think it’s vital to begin with the end in mind. All of us, even those of us who think we have the firmest grasp on the meaning of marriage, could stand to be reminded about the Biblical concept of marriage, what it symbolizes, and how Christ is glorified and we are sanctified through it.
- Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex and Redemption by Matt Chandler
- The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller
- The Sacred Search: What If It’s Not About Who You Marry, but Why? by Gary Thomas
2. Dating Approaches and Psychology
There’s no one approach, to Christian dating. (But wouldn’t we love a formula that works for everyone?) So even if you read all of these books, you still might find yourself single. (You know that thing called “God’s will”?)
However, figuring out who you are and why you do the things you do is important. Of course, not everyone who is married had to figure these things out before they covenanted to become one with another human being for the rest of their lives, but if you’ve got time and could save yourself some heartache/frustration/pain on the other side of marriage, then why wouldn’t you take this time to learn more about yourself? Maybe you’ll even discern if you’re doing something that hinders you in the areas of dating, love, or commitment. It could happen.
- The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley
- Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- Is This the One? Insightful Dates for Finding the Love of Your Life by Steve Arterburn
- Loving People: How to Love and Be Loved by Dr. John Townsend
- 5 Things: What Every Guy Should Do and Every Girl Should Wait on Before Getting Married by Kathy Nelson
What Christian dating books would you recommend? Have you read any of the ones on our list? What were your thoughts? Share them in the comments below.
