The (dreaded) Church Search. Whether we’re currently enduring it or we had to go through it once after college (lucky, you!), we shudder at the thought of shopping searching for a church home. 
There are so many things to consider when looking for a church, but many of us feel our singleness adds another layer to the frustration. Some of us don’t love singles ministries, but we feel that without them we won’t find friends. We worry the married folks will make us feel like fifth wheels, or that people won’t notice when we’re not there. And the list goes on…
Ultimately, though, what should we be looking for in a church home when we’re single? Should our search be any different from anyone else’s church search?
SingleRoots Writers Say…
For wise counsel, we asked some of our SingleRoots alumni writers to weigh in on the matter. Here’s what they had to say:
“Look for a church that challenges you to love Jesus and be more like Him as well as providing you ample opportunity to serve the body. This should be the goal of every Christian, single or not. If you are in a local church that is encouraging you and challenging you with love, sound doctrine, and much grace, you are doing it right.”
:: Nicole Eckerson, author of Why Your Story Matters
“I know we’re tempted to look for a church with a lot of other singles, but that really just makes things more difficult and narrows our options to a very few churches. The importance of community can’t be understated, but we limit the work of the Spirit when we believe that the only people we can be in true community with are other singles. If you’re looking for a church home, look for one with sound biblical teaching, one that cares about its own members as well as serving the world outside of the church, and look for a Sunday School class or community group that welcomes you in—no matter how different their life stages might be from yours. Keeping a singles-first mentality can leave you frustrated and prolong your search.”
:: Liesl Bennett, author of Never Been Kissed…or in Love
“I left a large church in a large city to live in a rural community where there are a couple of churches and none of them have over 100 members. Sure, I could drive 20-30 minutes away to a bigger church in a nearby city, but at what expense? I’m driving by the people I’m planted here to minister to. I teach a Sunday School class of young adults. I’m the only one who’s single in the class, but it’s not an issue. I think sometimes we make bigger issues of our singleness—and what we perceive others in the church must be thinking—than they sometimes are actually thinking. What should you look for in a church? You should look for a church that loves the Word of God and people. Do you have personal preferences—worship styles, single adults, on-campus classes vs. home groups? Those are all fine, but don’t elevate them over the essentials.”
:: John, author of Single Men in the Church: Absent Without Leave
Explore the Topic Further…
For further discussion on finding a church home, check out these posts:
Single and…Helping Plant a Church – “If you haven’t already, really embrace the people around you and view them as your family, because they are. Don’t let any bitterness concerning your singleness—and your brothers’ and sisters’ non-singleness—overcome your heart. Utilize your current singleness to serve your church.”
When I Knew It Was Time to Change Churches – “I was praying for God to bring me Christian community–that He would breathe some life into my social life and lead me to people who were seeking and pursuing God and would encourage me to do the same.”
The Struggle to Find My Place in the Church – “I found myself holding my breath as I realized I didn’t know where I was supposed to go. I mean, the obvious answer was to find a church with a singles group, but I truly wanted to be a part of the entire body and not segregated to a group of people who were placed together solely because of their marital status, or lack thereof.”
Finding a Church When You’re Single (in GIFs) :: Because Sometimes Words Just Aren’t Enough – “We’ve all been there: Driving up to the church parking lot, debating whether or not to park in “visitor parking” and thus call further attention to our presence. Turning off the car and gathering all of our courage and determination—as well as a few accountability texts from our friends—and walking toward the worship center.”
