I’m fortunate that my family never makes me feel pressured to get married, nor do they make me feel incomplete because my left hand lacks a wedding band. I realize, however, that my situation is not the norm for some of my friends. For them and many of you, the holidays are a glaring reminder that everyone else (possibly including yourself) thinks you’re somehow “unfinished” because you’re not married yet.
And the thought of dealing with it already has you praying for a vacant seat at the kids’ table just so you’ll make it through the day relatively unscathed from blind date set-ups and discussions about how you’re “just too picky.”
Honestly, family togetherness can be difficult regardless of marital status. I’ve always secretly envied the fact that my brothers and their wives can give each other pep talks before entering all of that dangerous familial bonding. With emotions running high, the holiday season can be one of those times you just need someone to remind you to keep a proper perspective.
So for you, dear friends and readers, here’s your very own pep talk, our annual reminder to ourselves at the onset of this glorious holiday season. Imagine me giving you a big ol’ side hug while we stand nervously resolutely outside the front door with our green bean casserole and pecan pie in hand:
Just for today, let’s resist the urge to disconnect. Let’s not wish the day away or hurry it along or hide behind various forms of technology. Let’s be completely present and have conversations that require more of us than grunts and sighs. May we extend grace to every person we’re with—even when they ask us yet again about our non-existent dating lives.
Let’s use the day to serve our family. Their daily duties can be exhausting—and even more so when the holidays roll around. Today, let’s use the freedom our singleness affords us to bless our family. Let’s take the focus off ourselves and what we want for a little while. Let’s help set the table, put ice in the glasses, wash the dishes, change the diapers, pick up the toys, and sweep the crumbs from the floor. And later in the day, we can spend some time enjoying our singleness instead of avoiding it. After all, they will have more duties to attend to then, but we can go shopping or see a movie with friends or do absolutely nothing.
And, you know, since it’s Thanksgiving and all, let’s get some perspective and be truly thankful. For this pecan pie in our hands, for a family who loves us dearly, for relatives who mean well and just want us to be happy, for those precious nieces and nephews inside.
But most of all, let’s be thankful that every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of the heavenly lights who does not change like the shifting shadows. And be thankful that in one short month we’ll be back outside this door giving ourselves yet another pep talk as we come together to celebrate the birth of that very same Giver of all good things.
Oh and while we’re at it, just in case things head south, let’s resist the urge to join any Thanksgiving Lightning Confessions, too. Some things are just better left unsaid…
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
